Norma is as selfless as I am, Ron

Ronnie, I love ya to death.

This post is dedicated to Mahoney, one of my two readers (the other being my parents)

Now no lure, Rulon won

I think that we need to change the list of Chuck Norris Facts, to the list of Rulon Gardner Facts. Especially now that we know Chuck is a bible-thumping pussy.

Seriously, Rulon Gardner is indestructible. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Rulon Gardner allows to live. Rulon Gardner doesn't use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma. Rulon Gardner doesn't get frostbite, he bites frost.

Doesn't it work so much better?

Name no one man

I wonder if this pastor from Oklahoma City knows our good friend Ted Haggard?

Draw a level award.

Shaquille O'Neal called the last two MVP awards given by the NBA 'tainted'. Those awards were won by wily Canadian Steve Nash, who definitely earned them, though an argument could be made for Kobe Bryant last season.

Here's some advice for you, Shaq. Why don't you shut the hell up, and stick to doing what you do best, which is resting your aching body until the playoffs. What's that? Oh, you might not even make the playoffs? Maybe it's time to start thinking about retirement. I used to enjoy your antics, but you may have overstayed your welcome...

Love,
Shap

Guns to Obama: boot snug?

I'm really starting to like this guy.

Yell avoid art radio valley

By now you've probably heard that the two major satellite radio providers XM and Sirius are planning to merge. I predicted this a couple of years ago, but I'm not here toot my own horn. I want to show why the merger doesn't violate any anti-trust regulations, and should be allowed to proceed.

USA Today had conflicting editorials regarding the merger, including this scathing attack by private media consultant Jimmy Schaeffler: Reject their request

It seems like Schaeffler's only legitimate gripe is that neither XM nor Sirius has demonstrated profitability, possibly due to poor business planning. He takes the attack too far however:

Moreover, it is disingenuous, if not ludicrous, to suggest that XM and Sirius face financial woes because of threats from Internet radio, iPods or alternative music platforms.

Well, I don't think anybody is arguing that the companies' financial woes stem entirely from competition from Internet radio and iPods, so your disingenuous straw man is easily squashed. However, I think the argument in itself is disingenuous, because he is making the case that satellite radio is a market unto itself, and faces no competition from outside sources. This is clearly false.

I got Sirius with my new Jeep last year, including a 1-year trial subscription. I won't be renewing when the trial period ends, mainly due to the fact I can bring my iPod in the car with me and listen to whatever I want. Other reasons include workable free radio options in the Denver area, and cheap factory dashboard displays on all Chrysler cars.

XM and Sirius may have been built upon poor business models, but that's not the only reason for their lack of success thus far. The main obstacles to their profitability have been competition between the companies, as well as from iPods, terrestrial and HD radio, the internet and wi-fi, and even digital cable. They also have to pay the government for use of their airwaves, about $90 million each, a fee not levied upon terrestrial radio broadcasters.

The bottom line is, this merger can only benefit both companies and their subscribers. The competition between XM and Sirius wasn't helping anyone, so why not give them a chance to provide comprehensive radio coverage, in order to compete fairly in their own market. If they can't do a good job as a provider, then we as consumers don't have to buy their product because we have plenty of other options. It's really that simple.

No, I tax every pyre vexation

Great article by Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi: Maybe We Deserve to be Ripped Off by Bush's Billionaires (warning: liberal media bias)

We can't afford to repeal the estate tax at this point. I definitely agree with Obama's view on this issue.