Norma is as selfless as I am, Ron

Ronnie, I love ya to death.

This post is dedicated to Mahoney, one of my two readers (the other being my parents)

Draw a level award.

Shaquille O'Neal called the last two MVP awards given by the NBA 'tainted'. Those awards were won by wily Canadian Steve Nash, who definitely earned them, though an argument could be made for Kobe Bryant last season.

Here's some advice for you, Shaq. Why don't you shut the hell up, and stick to doing what you do best, which is resting your aching body until the playoffs. What's that? Oh, you might not even make the playoffs? Maybe it's time to start thinking about retirement. I used to enjoy your antics, but you may have overstayed your welcome...

Love,
Shap

Mirth, sir, a gay asset? No, don't essay a garish trim.

You gotta admit, Tim Hardaway has got some balls. The guy knows how he feels, and is not afraid to let it be known. Most of us may not agree with him, but you gotta respect the guy's right to speak his mind.

Come on, it's not like he's running for president.

In words, alas, drown I.

OK, I think just about everyone who watches any College Basketball knows how annoying Dick Vitale can be while calling a game.

Here's proof: Card Chronicle lists 156 items that Dickie V. discussed during a single Louisville/Connecticut game, that had nothing to do with the game itself.

(OK, as I was posting this, I discovered that Deadspin had the story like two weeks ago, kudos to those guys. This isn't a 'scoop' blog, though.)

Thai sign as noon, sang Isiah T.

Here's one guy I would NOT welcome back to Detroit: Isiah Thomas. Ironically, he's had a much better history in Detroit sports than C-Webb, but he also happens to be a first-class asshole (or as George Costanza would say, "The jerk store called...")

Dear Isiah,
Please stay in New York, the Knicks need you!!!!!!
Love,
Shap

Now do I repay a period won.

Welcome back to Detroit, Chris Webber.

I've been defending you for a long time, although at times you make it so tough. You are a great passing forward, with very soft hands. You may not be able to jump anymore, but you are still a presence down low. After beating New Jersey tonight, the Pistons have won 5 out of 7, and are hopefully righting the ship again.

Chris, I'm willing to accept you back into the heart of Detroit basketball. You've had a colorful history throughout Michigan sports history. Let's hope this story has a happy ending...

Also, Chris - congratulations on producing a song on Nas's new album, Hip Hop is Dead. The name of the song is Blunt Ashes, it's not that bad!