Sex at noon, taxes

OK - pretty much two separate posts today, but they can both fit under the same header. Here goes:

1. Newt Gingrich is a hypocrite. He didn't do anything illegal, he's just a lying, cheating, hypocrite. He hounded Clinton for doing the same thing that he was doing, at exactly the same time.

I know Clinton lied under oath to a Federal Judge, but the question he was answering was a personal one, and should never have been asked. He couldn't take the Fifth, because he hadn't committed a crime, he was just trying to protect his family and their reputation. Scooter Libby, on the other hand, lied about a matter of national security, and the right wing nutcases are making him out to be some kind of scapegoat or pariah.

So much for "protecting the family". Giuliani and McCain have had much publicized extra-marital affairs, too. Mitt Romney belongs to a religion that supports polygamy. If you're a Bible-belt Republican, for whom do you cast your vote?

2. "If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet" - George Harrison

An 80-year-old couple in rural Illinois is being intimidated with felony charges by the Illinois Department of Revenue. Their crime? Modifying their car to run on vegetable oil (they get 46mpg) and then not paying $2,500 to register as a "special fuel supplier", when in fact they were using recycled grease from restaurant fryers. They are estimated to owe a lofty $4.07 per month in back-taxes. Shameful.

Now no lure, Rulon won

I think that we need to change the list of Chuck Norris Facts, to the list of Rulon Gardner Facts. Especially now that we know Chuck is a bible-thumping pussy.

Seriously, Rulon Gardner is indestructible. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Rulon Gardner allows to live. Rulon Gardner doesn't use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma. Rulon Gardner doesn't get frostbite, he bites frost.

Doesn't it work so much better?

Name no one man

I wonder if this pastor from Oklahoma City knows our good friend Ted Haggard?

Star Wars awe was raw rats.

According to the 2001 Census for each country, the 4th largest religion in England and Wales, and the 2nd largest religion in New Zealand is...

Jedi.

I know Star Wars junkies are geeks, but that is one of the greatest practical jokes I've heard about in a while...

Um, it is a joke, right? I mean, you can't honestly expect me to believe that you could use the writings of a 20th century science-fiction author as the basis of a religion? Right???

Deny a God, O gay Ned?

BltnWanderer points out that today's Denver Post headline should elicit some hearty laughs: Haggard says he is not gay

If you're not familiar with the story, Ted Haggard was a big-time evangelical preacher at a megachurch called New Life Church, in Colorado Springs, CO. Last year, the guy got caught, and after much coersion admitted to, having sex with a male prostitute and using crystal meth.

Apparently, he now writes for The Onion, under the pseudonym Bruce Heffernan.

Star Comedy Men: Enemy Democrats?

So this guy Dinesh D'Souza wrote this book about how 9.11.2001 was caused by the terrorists' anger towards secular America and progressive culture. His solution is to go back to conservative values in America, take away civil rights for minorities and homosexuals, and keep women in the kitchen, etc...

Let me see if I have his logic down: Let's say Canada decides that they're going to take out a border city, say Buffalo, or Detroit. Dinesh's solution would be to legalize gay marriage and pot? Give me a break. Dinesh, we know that you're educated...either you're not being honest with us, or you're not being honest with yourself, which is it?

So, anyways, people start laying in to this guy, from the New York Times to Stephen Colbert.

In response, he tries to portray himself as the victim of vicious personal attacks, but most people saw right through his b___s___.

Frankly, Mr. D'Souza, most people in this country think we should confront the terrorists with force. Also, most people in America believe in civil liberties such as equality and free speech, that is precisely why we fight. If you are against both of these things, then you're obviously on the wrong side...

Swap God for a janitor? Rot in a jar of dog paws...

Why can't the religious kooks leave God out of our public school system? If you want to teach your kid about school, pay the money, and send them to a private school. If you can't afford a private school, teach your kids at home. You can teach them whatever you want, that way. Just keep your God away from the rest of the children, before somebody gets hurt.

Here's the quote of the month, from the web page of Colorado State Senator Dave Schultheis:

Quote of the Month: "Children should be educated and instructed in the principles of freedom." -- John Adams (Defense of the Constitution, 1787)

Sounds like a decent, stand-up guy, huh? Actually, this guy stands for the exact opposite of freedom, and he wants to inject religion into public schools with a "Public School Religious Bill of Rights". He lists some petty claims to rights, some of which are already afforded, but also treads on some dangerous territory. One right he claims for religious teachers:

Teachers may:
(VII) NOT BE REQUIRED TO TEACH A TOPIC THAT VIOLATES HIS OR HER RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AND NOT BE DISCIPLINED FOR REFUSING TO TEACH THE TOPIC;

Almost sounds harmless, but it's really not at all. Shouldn't public school teachers be required to teach their respective subjects without bias towards religion? If you want to teach religion, why can't you teach at a private school? Not enough positions? I'm sure your place of worship would allow you to volunteer and enlighten young congregationists... oh, but that's not enough for you, is it? You want my kids, too?

PZ Myers over at Pharyngula has some very good commentary.